Wednesday, August 16, 2017

"Practicing random acts of kindness"...I never really liked that phrase.

"Practicing random acts of kindness". I never really liked that slogan. Kindness, for me at least is my default. It keeps me grounded. "Practicing random acts of kindness". I never really liked that slogan. Kindness, for me at least is my default.
When I learned to be kind to myself. And experienced how that made me feel. It was a natural progression to extend that kindness to others. The action is not contingent on how I am treated or viewed.It is a core belief of how thin
gs are. Not how they should be.

"You are not a porn star. You need to take your coon ass back to Seattle".

"You are not a porn star. You need to take your coon ass back to Seattle". Was the message I received while on one of my visits to San Francisco two years ago. There are two base emotions, fear (anger, envy, resentment, hate) and love (compassion, empathy, faith, hope, joy, respect). I thanked him for taking the time out of his busy schedule to write me.

I might have met him in passing. Or he might have been put off for my failure to respond to text messages in the past. The latter happens most often. I have posed the question many times. "Is it better to understand or be understood?" With an open mind does the heart follow. I thanked him for reminding me of what life can look like if I allow fear to once more rule my house. I would not wish such an existence on anyone.

I felt nothing but compassion for him. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.


I will walk softly.

Buster Sly/Sylvester Lee Neal



Saturday, April 1, 2017

Don't ask Don't tell.....


"Hey did tom go over to your place today?" Was the question asked by a person I had met one night with his partner I will call Tom.


If Tom asked me the very same question about you? I would give him the same answer, as would I with anyone else who posed such a question to me. "You are asking the wrong person." Will always be the answer if I chose to respond at all.


"I mean it as no disrespect towards you. Just the opposite. If I were to disclose who may or may not have been with me. From a business point of view in the industry I work in, I might as well quit. Confidentiality is top on the list of things I would never betray to another human. Unless someone's life is at risk and or it involves a minor.
On a personal level, we are talking about integrity, not Tom's but mine.

I am consistent across the board with this subject. I have lost friends over this very thing. When I am a guest in a person's home who is kind enough to host during my travels. I am privy to personal information and often this is given to me in real time while I am working on my computer. There have been times when friends have expressed interest in who I was chatting with and what was the subject matter? Accused of being secretive and worse have I been For never sharing the information.
How could anyone possibly trust me with something personal or intimate, if I am telling them something of the same nature about someone else?
Please do not ask me something like this because I would never tell.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

A decision I made, aware of the consequences and how I would suffer for it.

...I thought I shared with you the story of the judge who stated: "You do not respect my authority do you?" I told him respect is a gift given. I tolerate you because I have no choice. But you have never given me a reason to respect you.

A recent text between myself and a long time friend. I was sharing with him a difficult time in my life where I was confronted with a judge who took issues with my profession. Not allowing me to travel for work. I went knowing full well that upon my return I would be arrested.

How dare you judge me in such a manner and expect me to prostate myself before. Is what went through my mind. When I responded to this fool before me. Drunk on his power.


I spent 9 months waiting for trial. The judge would not allow me to post bail on personal recognizance. after the third time,
I returned to the city to travel because my job required it.

Integrity can be a lonesome bedfellow.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

BUSTER SLY: Do I want to be right and win an argument or be he...

BUSTER SLY: Do I want to be right and win an argument or be he...: I do not believe in being brutally honest. The message is always lost on the person who is on the receiving end of the conversation. If I ...

Do I want to be right and win an argument or be heard?

I do not believe in being brutally honest. The message is always lost on the person who is on the receiving end of the conversation. If I want the person to understand how I was effected negatively by their behavior or an action taken by them? I will share in a non threatening tone. I refrain from blaming the person for what ever ills I might believe they played a part in and share how their actions effected me in a adverse way. So not to have them default to "fight or flight" survivor mode. Hearing nothing that is coming out of my mouth.

If after I have shared about how I was harmed by a behavior or action taken by them. And they chose not to make some type of compromise/agreement to prevent it from occurring again? I know to cut my losses stop investing any energy on a person who has little to no interest in how I feel.

Is it better to understand or be understood.

Andrew Adam Caldwell took the picture

Monday, May 2, 2016

AT best Empathy is the most we can offer or fellow humans. We should tread lightly when you form an opinion based sorely on your point of reference

I
have been working diligently with my social media manger to prepare for the up coming trip to Europe in June. He is a good investment of my time.  Something that I place a greater value than any currency.



I share this about me with the hope that some light is brought to what i do when on line and how oftentimes. A perceived aloofness for not responding in a timely manner can lead to one or both parities having unrealistic expectations.

Based on their life experiences which could never be the same as another soul.

Search This Blog

There was an error in this gadget

Followers