Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Paradigm Shift "Swimming upstream"

Paradigm Shift "Swimming upstream"
Ms. Oprah, once said during here talk show, people will always tell you about the type of human they are without even having to ask. All one has to do is be present and listen.
We all love to talk about ourselves especially when trying to make a good impression. I make it a habit to be very clear to anyone in my life where I stand on relationships (family,friends,ex-partners who I will always hold close to my heart).
I share this today because of a gift I received in the form of a life lesson learned many years ago. Yet I had not been applying this well earned bit of wisdom to the social media environment because I failed to see the similarities in peoples behaviors.
A better bridge to the following life lesson that can only be applied properly for me when I am at a place where I am not the center of my universe. What is required for me to see past my nose is simply slowing down and getting out of my own way.
Ego, that word runs rampant in this country of "me first". I have much patience and understanding for a child whose ego runs a muck. Especially when I can give them back to my siblings with a loud toy for good measures of course.
I want to save potential would be friends and lovers time and frustration. If you are needy and demand my attention, at the expense of me not being fiscally responsible. I will never buy what you are trying to sell me. I will thank you kindly and follow, if time allows with a "have an nice life".
I would never work for you no matter how hard you tried to get me to see your way as the only right way. Self absorbed is not a character trait I find appealing.
For the hardheaded ones who did not get the first example here is another red flag for me. Do not ask me what exactly it is that I do on this site. Which on my profile covers most of it. Once more you are telling on yourself and I am grateful. What I got from you is that my time is not as important as yours (you lazy son of a ________.
When I was 21 I would do something similar to that thinking with the other head. Ready to move in and by the china. Unable to even remember if you told me your last name. I empathize with these would be suters. Game knows game. The difference is I have moved on to a different life lesson and do not desire to be on the receiving end on a person who i could never view as a peer.
I do not have the patience or the time to train. I am done for the day balance even if it is only fleeting has been restored. I am no longer swimming up stream.
Which brings me full circle. I just told on myself. It is deliberate, with adjustments made to the person in front of me as I set them up for the soft landing of a over inflated since of themselves.
You lost me shortly after, hello.
 andrew adam caldwell took these pictures


Monday, October 27, 2014

Come visit me at tumblr....note adult content 18 years and up

Something write about...

Once more I was forced to take a break from Facebook this time it was on this account. I have another Facebook account under Buster Sly. I failed to take into account the links that I have to Facebook on other applications.
Even with the adult content warning I post on any link to my all natural sites. The one where I have on the same amount of clothes as the day I came into this world.
Lesson learned...
I hope you go take a gander at THAXXXLIST.COM, note the three X's. I am a senior contributing writer for the site and would love to hear from you. simply submit a question. It can be on any subject matter. I will always respond as candidly as I am capable. I course I am only giving you my perspective based on my life experiences.
I am just one of the contributing writers for the site. You are bound to find quiet a few reasons to keep you coming back.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Andrew Adam Caldwell took this picture.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

A question of integrity. It is not just a word, it is how I live.

A question regarding integrity. Yesterday an acquaintance not in the friend category asked me for a mutual friends number.  This friend had left my apartment some time ago.

I told this acquaintance that I would forward his number to our friend. The decision on giving a private number away would fall on the  owner of the number not me.

This acquaintance was furious and could not believe i would do such a thing h

For any who is not from the south, that means, fuck off we will never speak again. But I was raised not to use such colorful words especially when to do so only takes me to the level of the fool in front of me.

Integrity is not just a word one uses because it sounds good. It is a way one lives. Even when you have a crazy person threatening you in your own home.

I will now go to my friend who brought this crazy person into my home and have a word with him. That is another topic altogether.

e asked for our friends apartment number. I also refused to give him that as well.  This ended with me going to my door and telling him "have a  nice life".

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Who are you?

A question I would never expect a young adult to answer or have the answer to.  when the question was posed to me 20 or so odd years ago. It took me a few weeks to have an answer that I was satisfied with, along with my therapist.

Another way of looking at this question is what defines you? For some it's easier to say what does not. An example to this would be. " my job is not who I am it is simply something that I do".

Allowing yourself to be defined by one particular thing the extremely dangerous. Especially if this one thing happens to be your job. What would one do if there job is lost? In extreme cases we see people jumping out the window.

The best answer you may be able to come up with is "I do not know".

To that I say congratulations and good journey.  May you never reach your destination.

Buster Sly.

Friday, September 26, 2014

The trap..Why I choose not to participate.

Recently a good friend of mine and I had a discussion on dating younger people. I of course have not dated anyone for some time now,  I actually can not remember the last time I went out on a date or viewed someone in such a manner. I digress, that is for another time and place.

When I was young(er), I fancied myself as being far to mature for those of my age. There was some truth in it. But for me to consider myself an equal to the men I courted would be a joke. What I sought and what I needed where two different things. This conflict between what I wanted and what was needed led to all relationships ending at best poorly.

I did not see the pattern until the difference in age was significantly reduced. That and watching my elder friends relationships end strangely the same way every single time. How could this be? The people they dated looked nothing alike save for their youth, 

Contrary to the crazy phrase "you complete me", two halves in a relationship does a whole not make. It is called being co dependent, and that is not a good thing.  Looking at it from my perspective as the youth enamored by the farther figure who appears to have it all together, I want what he has. Note this is not a material want, It is a desire to live life carefree and secure in oneself. I also wanted to feel safe, This was before therapy. When I was running from the trauma of abuse without even knowing what it was that made me so fearful.

The lure, for most mature men is the vulnerability they see in ones so young. They are not quiet jaded by life. They are teachable/trainable. They are the ones who sit in the seat of power. Can they not see the forest for the tree. You can not be a lover one moment. Then a farther figure the next. Place yourself as a parent and suffer the resentment of the child.

Oops I gave it away far too soon. Some of you may have blinked. I will approach it from the eyes of the young one seeking out a much older wiser being at least that is what he had thought in the beginning. When we place someone up on a pedestal and find out they are only human some feel duped or misled. Perfection was never promised by this elder but it was implied. How dare he tell me what is right or wrong. He is not my farther. He is not qualified to be my farther. These words hold true to me. I sang them quiet a few times in my youth.

 Off with his head the king is dead. And I would begin my quest for the rightful ruler of the house not knowing I was there all along. There is only one king in my kingdom and that is me. If and when I so chose to share It will be with another king who rules his kingdom fearlessly. 

I have no desire to lead nor have I any interest in following. Do not ever come to me bragging about what you can do for me.  I will be bored before you have even gotten started. That is the trap I stopped falling for many years ago. 

Let us see what we can do for each other together as well as apart. I live for no other reason than to see what is on the other side. I want to know, This desire is what fuels me. If it is not something that we share? I suggest you seek out your partner elsewhere. 

Buster Sly

Monday, September 15, 2014

The abilty to identify what event is worth fighting for in my lifes journey is key in keeping ones sanity.

tLast week was full of extreme highs and lows. Remaining focused and staying in a solution based perspective during such a chaotic weekend. Continues to be a great tool I learned to keep my serenity from being challenged.
Lowering my expectations so that I am pleasantly surprised. This does not mean I am settling. In the early stages of any relationship, I find it crucial to allow the person I am with to be the one who defines himself. Many feel  to do this and end up having this new person in their lives fall short of their expectations.
How unfair it would be for me to be disappointed in a total stranger for not being the person I had fantasized they would be.

Search This Blog

There was an error in this gadget