Monday, September 15, 2014

The abilty to identify what event is worth fighting for in my lifes journey is key in keeping ones sanity.

tLast week was full of extreme highs and lows. Remaining focused and staying in a solution based perspective during such a chaotic weekend. Continues to be a great tool I learned to keep my serenity from being challenged.
Lowering my expectations so that I am pleasantly surprised. This does not mean I am settling. In the early stages of any relationship, I find it crucial to allow the person I am with to be the one who defines himself. Many feel  to do this and end up having this new person in their lives fall short of their expectations.
How unfair it would be for me to be disappointed in a total stranger for not being the person I had fantasized they would be.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Another lesson in patience and staying in a solution based perspective.

In the past two months I have had the chance to focus more attention the business of running a business. Thanks to a broken foot that has finally healed to the point where I can walk comfortably. And begin booking dates with business in the industry.

Having realistic expectations is of those who are working with me is the  key to my serenity not being challenged. I must also remember to apply this to the expectations I have placed on myself. Staying in a solution based perspective keeps me from ever falling into the "blame game" . That is a trap I learned to avoid many years ago. It only ads to the problem causing resentment. Ultimately doing much more harm than any possible good.

A solution based perspective allows all parties involved to focus on reaching whatever goals that have been set as quickly and efficiently as possible. The team remains a team and no egos are bruised or feelings hurt.

 "It is not what you say, but how you say it", I have heard this phrase so many times over the years and it still rings true today. My favorite question I have posed often in the past would be "Is it better to understand or be understood?".  The common denominator in both of these statements is active listening. How can anyone possibly lead if they cannot understand or be willing to see the complete picture.

I have yet to experience a time when working on a project where there was only one option to reaching a particular goal or solution. Humbling  and refreshing this has been for me.  In order to have a working environment where ideas and creativity of others flows freely. Is the responsibility of the immediate supervisor to put ego aside and encourage people to speak up if they think there is a better or more efficient way to obtain a particular goal. No one is above reproach.

I am writing this entry today because I wanted to share where I have been these past few months and why I have been absent. Not responding to your messages in a timely fashion. Finding the right people to fill key positions and getting them up to speed. While also learning what is needed from me so that they can perform effectively in there position has been all consuming of my time.

In the near future, when all is in place. I will be able to do the thing that brings me much joy. New projects on a constant basis easier access to me. A calendar on my web page that lets you know months in advanced what I am doing and what city I will be visiting.

For people who are trying to reach me and in the past have been frustrated with my lack of response or slow response. I have already implemented a solution. By giving you a direct line  posted on all of the sites.

Growing pains is what I have been experience and I thank you for your patience. I am also grateful for the patience the team has afforded me while I grow into the shoes which I find myself walking in.

Eternally grateful,

Buster Sly

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Does my family know I am in the porn industry? And how do they feel about it?

I was recently asked, if my family knew about me in the porn industry. And if they had seen any of my work. I have never been concerned about what my parents or family members might think of me getting into the industry of porn.

Never have... I been defined by a job. It is not who I am, simply what I choose to do. When the subject came up. I answered any and all questions they brought up. If I was ashamed of something that I did or was doing? I would not do it. My niece and nephews up to my grand mother are aware of the business I am in.

Finally to answer the question of If they have ever seen any of my work? Yes but it was my fault. Earlier in my career when I was learning how to use a computer (4 plus years ago). I thought I had sent pictures from a recent PG photo shoot to my family and friends. Unfortunately it was pictures from a porn scene.

My grandmother was the first to call me. She thanked me for sending her pictures but politely let me know there was no need for me to send nude pictures after changing my diapers so many years ago.

My family's love is not conditional, nor is the love I have for them. I am sure they would prefer I choose a different career path. But ultimately they want what I want. That is to have a life full of surprises, challenges and wonder.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

"Never mix business with pleasure." But what happens if the business is all about the pleasing of another.

"Never mix business with pleasure." But what happens if the business is all about the pleasing of others.

I decided to enter the adult entertainment industry, some four years ago after listing the cost vs the benefit that comes with it. This included an end game. Everyone who works in front of the camera has a shelf life. This varies from person to person. Knowing this from the very beginning. It was crucial for me to have a well laid out plan. With markers that allowed for course corrections, in the event of some unforeseen event.

There have been many unforeseen events. The ability to navigate through these events without them having a negative impact on me physic. Keeping spiritually grounded. Has been the key to weathering through the challenges that have come my way. I view them all as life lessons, grateful to have experienced them and in so doing learned a bit more about myself and the world I live in.

Keeping an open mind to the possibilities. Remaining teachable even under extreme conditions. They are the armor I wear so that I can best be of service to those who seek me out.

One can not properly take care of others without knowing how to take care of themselves.

Good Journey

Buster Sly

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Check out @ BusterSlyXXX's Tweet: BusterSlyXXX/status/ 489711701655183361

Defining myself, am I a top or am I am bottom

When I am asked "If I am a top or bottom?" My answer would have to be, neither. I am a sexual being and will not be defined by two outdated words. I am more than a top and more than a bottom.

If you wish to know, what type of person turns me on? This is an easy one for me to respond too. I will always seek out some type of connection. If I can not find one endearing trait in the person I am with? No matter how physically attractive they might be. I will get dressed and one of us will be leaving shortly there after.

A great personality speaks volumes to me. That is what turns me on first and foremost. Even if the sex happens to be lackluster-ed, I will at the very least be stimulated by getting to know the person in an intimate way. With the possibility of friendship.

One of the motivating forces that moves me to the extremes that I oftentimes put myself through, is for the possibility of meeting a kindred spirit. This is not, a person who is exactly like myself. That would be boring. It is a person that I am able to share life experiences with. We both are enriched by the experience. One does not seek dominance over the other. Mutual respect for each others wisdom, if I may be so bold.

Beauty can be eternal if it comes from within.

Buster Sly

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Growing up...Does it ever end? I hope not.

I have been resistant as of late to making adjustments in my lifestyle and my way of living. Not fully committed to a path I chose for myself. Fear is my enemy once more. Half in and half out. This internal debate has its roots deep in my past. If I am to commit entirely I would be vulnerable in ways that I have not been before. 

In the recent past I had taken a big leap on the path of trusting my judgement with a person I will still call friend. He was extremely helpful in restoring my faith in other humans. I looked forward to the working relationship we had made. The path we set out was clear. I shared my fears and concerns freely as did he. Love and respect I still maintain for him. 

Never did I view the relationship as anything more than business partner/friend. I injured myself and was in need of caring. He, not surprisingly offered his assistance in caring for me. One week into this He decides to adopt two puppies. This he said would make the family complete. Concern grew over the following days into abject fear.

I have seen this far too many times in my past where friends turn into "wanna be lovers".  The potential for harm against me, I could not ignore. While concern for what would happen to our relationship and the pain that he would feel upon my rejection, weighed heavy in my mind.  This was a man who had to choose between living in constant pain or becoming addicted to a known narcotic for a debilitating disease. The narcotic over the years I had known him showed its ugly face more often these days than not.

When I was well enough to take care of myself, I shared my concerns for him and how I did not have the same type of love that he had for me.  I have yet to fully recover from the damage caused when in his eyes, I rejected him forthright. My life was laid bare access to all personal information as well as business dealing this man had. He was of course my business lawyer my friend.

Now in order to achieve my goals I must put faith once more in my friends most I have known for many years. Beautiful souls I see in them. Harm caused by them? I could never for see. Yet did I not feel the same about my once close friend. The stark difference has now been made clear as I write this entry.

Faith is the absence of fear. My heart beat slows down to its normal pace. The path of forgiveness I will take up once more. I will be fearless once more. Meaning in spite of my fears I will let it pass through me so that I can see the forest from the trees. Trust in my choices as to who are my friends I will once again afford myself. Vulnerable with these friends I am willing to be. It is the least I can do for myself. Deserving, am I to all of the graces this universe has to offer. As we all are.

Serenity, for now is restored.

Buster Sly

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