Saturday, December 20, 2014

"Fear is a mind killer. I will face my fear and let it pass through me...when it is gone, only I will remain." Dune.

I am dating myself when bringing up a favorite line from Designing Women "...I do not care what anyone says. The man should kill the bug." Delta Burk, I believe said it. I hate bugs while cleaning my apartment I stopped dead in thy tracks. There was something moving on my floor instantly I was reliving a horrific moment in Austin TX.
My partner at the time Mark and I had our usual Sunday barbeque with friends playing cards. Perry Rhodes III was there. Out from no where came this huge water bug (roach on steroids) walking across the wall closest to me. Slowly I got out of my seat Picking up a news paper. Steady was I be careful not to have become aware of my intentions.
While on approach, from what I thought was the blind side of the creature. I started to raise my arm preparing for the final stage of what was to be the killing stroke. The beast caught site of me and instead of fleeing, it flew right at me. The next thing I remember was coming to my senses in our pool which was two flights of stairs and a patio full of people (now laughing).
There are few creatures in this world I live in that can raise the hair on the back of my neck. None as deadly as the water bug that night in Austin TX.
I will be ready for them when I return home December 30th. Making sure to check under the bed before I drift off into the sweet oblivion of sleep. I well know that fumigating does not work. For they are not house roaches but live in the trees.
I ask for your prayers as I return to face potentially my greatest adversary. No it is not the water bug. It is what it represents. The ability of such a tiny being to cause the "fight or flight" response to kick into overdrive. Is far too humbling for me to stomach. I, person who stood his ground killing a German Shepard mixed dog, when it dared to threaten my life and that of my puppy. It had to go (granted I did have stitches).
"Fear is a mind killer, I will face my fears and let it pass through me. And when it is gone, only I will remain." Alright geeks and I must include my self in that category reading all of the books including the ones co written by his son. If that was not a big enough clue then you are not a fan.
Taken by Andrew Adam Caldwell

...I love the photographers that I have worked with in the past.

Giving credit where credit is due...I love the photographers that I have worked with in the past. And I have made mistakes along the way. Respect for their trade is a given with me. Without them I would never be where I am today. A big thanks to all who have contributed in aiding me while I seek to catch your eyes.

I have worked with extremely talented photographers all with their own unique way of viewing the world around them. It makes for an interesting dance. I hope to have available soon on the site a page paying homage to all I have worked with and those yet to come.

A friend of mine here on Facebook commented about a recent photo shoot at my apartment in the bathtub. Chris H. thought it was a good picture. I of course thanked him but failed to give credit to the photographer Andrew Adam Caldwell at that time. This is something I strive to do regularly.  A suggestion for anyone who wants to model. Be very good to the ones taking your picture. They do talk amongst themselves and I do not know of a single person who enjoys working with high maintenance models. If you like their work and post it on a site? The proper educate is to also include the name of the person who took the picture. There is an exception if you paid them yourself but I would still do it anyway just good Carma.

Andrew Adam Caldwell took these pictures....

Sunday, December 14, 2014

A letter to a would be stalker...sent 12/14/2014

I would like to know if my friend is OK. At best tolerance is all I will afford you. This will only last as long as my friend is treated in the manner that all people should abide to.  Violence BEGETS Violence. One does not hit a person they claim to love.
There is never a reason to cause someone you love intentional trauma.  And contrary to what you might believe today. No one can make you do anything unless they have a gun to your head or something related to it.
Yes I practice what I preach.  Catching my partner of 6 years in bed with my best friend whom I had known years before meeting my partner. I allowed them to finish with their business. Made a pot of coffee sat down and waited. I will admit to turning up the AC for their personal comfort was no concern to me.
Once the heavy breathing concluded, I waited patiently for the panting kissing and pillow talk that I was accustom to having in my bed with my partner. It was clear to me this was not the first time they had met.
When they walked out of the bedroom, in their birthday suit. I simply told them not to bother getting dressed. If thew would like? I made a fresh pot of coffee in the kitchen. If not, have a seat we need to talk.
Devastated, was I at that moment. No greater betrayal by a friend could I have imagined. Yet not once did I think to injure either of them. I have always wanted the best for my partner. I was certainly not without fault. We parted ways and within a years time began talking again I wanted to know he was well and enjoyed hearing about a new love in his life.  My love once given to another. Be it my mother or my former lover is not conditional.  It will change as my understanding of it evolves as well. There is no place in my heart that I can go that would allow me to cause harm to a loved one without harming myself as well.
You have your path to travel, I pray that we do not cross each others paths in the near future if I was to find you guilty of expressing your type of love to one that I care for.
I will be visiting today if I am able and hope the two of you get some help in the form of an outside intervention.
Buster Sly

Monday, December 8, 2014

Excessive force by those who have sworn to protect and serve. We bare part of the blame...

Violence begets violence. History has proven this time and again. Yet often times it is the first solution that is used. I can understand its use from adolescents who do have not yet learned there are other means to handle conflict. Decisions derived from fear rarely have good outcomes. A more measured approached must always be on the table for consideration. The easiest way to counter an action based in fear, is to slow down and allow reason to return.

Protesting is a start. It has its place in society along with sports arenas. They are a place where the excess energy of the general public can be released in a controlled environment. Why do you think the Greeks of old created gladiators and filled the stadium with their citizens. Build a stadium and they will come in droves. Wars are used in the extreme for this reason as well. Why do they send our young for such things? The adolescent male left to his own device has the greatest potential for unrest and anarchy. So much pent up energy that will find a release one way or another.

Which brings me back to the solution for a problem we the people have not correctly addressed. I am impressed by the fact that most officers do not succumb to the base emotion of fear. It manifests itself by the "us against them" mentality.  They are constantly interacting with a small percentage of the population which does not represent the normal day to day working class. In a constant state of alert knowing at anytime violence could erupt. Over the years this has to effect the way they view the world around them. Easily putting everyone in the same category as enemy.

We are to blame for not making it mandatory that all (yes all must be required or none will attend) law enforces receive support in the form of counseling so they have the opportunity to properly manage working in a hostile environment akin to shell shock. Do we not feel the need to offer this t
o our solders returning from similar arenas. We all know of or have heard of solders turning on their loved ones. This is much more common than you think with the police force. Just ask a son, daughter or spouse of such families and you will see them line up in droves. If they are not held at bay by fear.

Let us mature a bit more as a species and quit pointing the finger when the blame lies squarely at our feet. Go out and protest get rid of your pent up frustrations sleep the good sleep derived from the belief that somehow you have done your part.

But in the coming days when sanity returns.  Lets have a real discussion that is of a solution based perspective. And make lasting change where all will win and there can be no losers. There is no "us against them". This idea is only a distraction, Its goal can only be seen as a distraction allowing for actions from those sworn to protect and serve to continue as they do to this day.

If you have a better solution? I would like to hear it. If not please step out of my way by not contributing to the problem that effects us all.

Sylvester L Neal
Buster Sly

Tuesday, December 2, 2014


Having paid my debt to the gods of rest. The choice to sleep or continue to work. Was no longer an option for me around 7am today. I

was determined to get some projects completed. Self will run a muck

listened, as if there was much of a choice in the matter. Blissful slumber soon followed.

Often I have written about being a creature of excess. It is my natural state to "want" more. If one donuts is good 20 must be better.

Grateful, am I to have learned how to handle this aspect of my personality. It is akin to a child, who upon finding out they can not

have something ever again, throws a fit. Acting out soon follows. I am far too old to be acting out.

The sensation that comes over me when I here the word abstinence is akin to how I feel while a person runs their fingernail across a

chalk board. If I deny myself anything, I will want it more. An example of this happened yesterday. I am by no means someone who

craves sweets. Yet the moment I get a tooth ache and tell myself I can not have anything that could cause me discomfort. The craving

for it began.

I can not remember the last time I bought ice cream, cherry pie and a pack of ice cream sandwiches. I started consuming them before I

made it home.  There is always a cost. This cost is something that I make myself aware of before taking any action in life. It is what

keeps the child like persona in check. I will always ask myself. AM I WILLING TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS. No truer words

can I share with anyone today. They were given to me by a total stranger on a plane some 30 years ago. I asked here if she new my


I will be going to the dentist tomorrow and I have already walked in this freezing cold two miles with some sit ups and if lucky sex.

I will burn off all that was consumed.

Happy Holidays.

Buster Sly
. I pushed myself, as I often do. And my body pushed back.  I

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Atlanta, a city I once called home. Why I have been reluctant until now, to return.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

I awoke to what I can only describe as and erotic dream...

It is far too early for me to be up.  I awoke this morning having had one of my erotic dreams. I do not get them as often as I did in

the past. I am certain it has a lot to do with the way I live today. It is a rare occurrence these days for me to go to bed without

taking care of a thing that gives my so much pleasure.

My mouth was salivating and and my stomach wanting. Fortunately I have in my infinite wisdom planned for such an event as this. My

room was dark and I am not yet ac

refrigerator  the louder my stomach roared. The leftovers from the night before will have to do.

After consumption, serenity is restored. All is right in my world. I will return to slumber now. Do not  seek me out for another few

hours. Unless I am fortunate to have another erotic dream about food. I hope the next time I dream of sushi, it has been a while.


I have never in my life to this day had what friends have described as a "wet dream".  I envy those who have.  The closest I got to

one was waking to a good friend humping my leg while he had one in his sleep. I was not amused.  Good morning and good night.

Buster Sly
Sylvester Lee Neal
custom to the layout of my apartment. I allowed instincts to take over. The closer I got to the

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