AM I WILLING TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS

Having paid my debt to the gods of rest. The choice to sleep or continue to work. Was no longer an option for me around 7am today. I

was determined to get some projects completed. Self will run a muck

listened, as if there was much of a choice in the matter. Blissful slumber soon followed.

Often I have written about being a creature of excess. It is my natural state to "want" more. If one donuts is good 20 must be better.

Grateful, am I to have learned how to handle this aspect of my personality. It is akin to a child, who upon finding out they can not

have something ever again, throws a fit. Acting out soon follows. I am far too old to be acting out.

The sensation that comes over me when I here the word abstinence is akin to how I feel while a person runs their fingernail across a

chalk board. If I deny myself anything, I will want it more. An example of this happened yesterday. I am by no means someone who

craves sweets. Yet the moment I get a tooth ache and tell myself I can not have anything that could cause me discomfort. The craving

for it began.

I can not remember the last time I bought ice cream, cherry pie and a pack of ice cream sandwiches. I started consuming them before I

made it home.  There is always a cost. This cost is something that I make myself aware of before taking any action in life. It is what

keeps the child like persona in check. I will always ask myself. AM I WILLING TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS. No truer words

can I share with anyone today. They were given to me by a total stranger on a plane some 30 years ago. I asked here if she new my

mother?

I will be going to the dentist tomorrow and I have already walked in this freezing cold two miles with some sit ups and if lucky sex.

I will burn off all that was consumed.

Happy Holidays.

Buster Sly

. I pushed myself, as I often do. And my body pushed back.  I