Saturday, October 21, 2017

Balance is my Holy Grail.

For me, there's very little difference between friends and those who I call family when it comes to love. If I Call You Friend there should be no doubt that I love you.

If I had all the time in the world I would respond to every message that people have sent to me. When I first entered the entertainment industry I responded to every message sent to me. This practice had to come to an end. When I came to terms with the fact that the majority of my waking hours was spent responding to people.   I wish I could say that I developed a very thick skin and was no longer bothered when I read messages from someone who had first was happy to become friends with me on Facebook but when I did not respond formed a very different opinion of me. Fare from his point of view.

But my reality is slightly different. On an average day I receive over 250 messages it's impossible for one person to respond to them all. I have tried and failed. I get lost in the sea of data. At times I shut down from the sensory overload.
These days I do the best that I can. Learning to be okay with it at the end of the day. Balance is my Holy Grail.  I strive to have it in all aspects of my life.

Friday, October 6, 2017

Picture taken of a long-overdue photo shoot iiik

Picture was taken this past weekend in Portland with Andrew Adam Caldwell more to cum.  Yes 51 years old.

A challenge to my integrity.

I've always wondered why get this burning sensation when I walk past  a  gym or church.

To that and I have agreed to do the unthinkable. A friend as asked me to work out with him. Knowing full well, "exercise is the leading cause of cancer in laboratory animals." Hence the reason why I have not slept in the gym in over 12 years.

Proper boundaries Have been made, in the form of a contract stating no more than 3 workouts in a lifetime can be asked of me.

To that end, I humbly ask for your prayers in my time of need.

Friday, September 22, 2017

My universal truth... Trust but verify.

As I live and breath. I do not take my gaze away from the screen on my cell phone. Out of fear that the person sitting across from me playing foot see and Rubbing her nipples will mistake it as being interested.
I have failed in my attempt to lose this individual by changing directions on the train here in San Francisco.

I do not reward bad behavior. Unfortunately I have had party much practice on how best to deal with situation such as this. I never acknowledge/engage with the person who is targeted me as a person of interest. To do so only invites more inappropriate behavior. The would be stalker will soon tire of the lack of attention and move on to someone else

My patience pays off. I notice his feet moving away from me. Looking up I see him/her getting off the train. In pursuit of his/her next victim/prey.

One of the main reasons why I am an introvert. It is a numbers game. I reduced my exposure to people. To keep future encounters at a risk level I am willing to live with. Trust but verify is just one tool used in my pursuit of serenity.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Open hand or closed fist.


Which politicians were part of privatizing the prison systems in the United States? And how much money did they make at the expense of US citizens?

There is an innate conflict of interest. History has taught us in this country. When there's a choice between doing the right thing or making money? The people who placed themselves in the position of making this decision will pick making money over doing the right thing every single time.

The people housed in these systems will sooner or later leave the facilities. To join the general population. Years of abuse, inhumane living conditions, ensures one outcome. There are no guards watching 24 hours keeping that anger in check when they have served their time?

Violence begets violence. We know this to be a universal truth. All one has to do is turn on the TV and watch the news. This pattern of creating our own demons and not owning the part we played must stop. We are becoming a prison state. If not already there.

For those who can think only of themselves. I ASK, Is it in your best interest to have someone released from prison into the general population a greater threat to society than when they were admitted? An open hand is much more preferable than a closed fist.

For the militant, I pose the question.
"Do you want to win the battle or do you want to win the war?"

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

"Practicing random acts of kindness"...I never really liked that phrase.

"Practicing random acts of kindness". I never really liked that slogan. Kindness, for me at least is my default. It keeps me grounded. "Practicing random acts of kindness". I never really liked that slogan. Kindness, for me at least is my default.
When I learned to be kind to myself. And experienced how that made me feel. It was a natural progression to extend that kindness to others. The action is not contingent on how I am treated or viewed.It is a core belief of how thin
gs are. Not how they should be.

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