Abusive relationships....It takes two for it to work.

Violence is never the answer when it is directed at the person you love. .
Abusive behavior towards a loved one is not limited to being physically assaulted.

A partner can be abusive on an emotional level. The end result is the same. I spent the better part of today assisting a dear friend of mine with separating himself from such a relationship.

I had learned many years ago not to take sides and demonize a friends partner when they are caught up in this cycle. I would most likely be cut off from any future visits with him. Even if what I spoke where the exact words coming from his mouth.

The best I can do is to remove myself from potentially volatile encounters with the two while i was present,, And wait for my friend to decide he had enough.

 Aid/assistance of that magnitude only comes once. I will not help you move out of a hostile environment. While having to watch both our backs because your partner has now landed the blame squarely on my doorsteps as to the reason you are leaving. Can you say victim mentality.

If  you return to your partner after asking for my aid? Never wake me again over anything related to the two of you, I will not become an enabler and get caught up in the drama. It only distracts me from working on my own shit. And we all know I need all the help I can muster.

It was painful to loose my friend for these past two years. Harder to visit only to see a new wound on his face. But abandon a friend, I think not.

One more point I wish to make. We as humans are creatures habit. The devil you know. I have been single of these 20 plus years because of my ability to pick the same type of personality trait in my partners. They all ended up the same way. The cycle would never have been broken unless an outside source in the form of my therapist.

She stated that there is one thing my ex partners have in common. I am thinking did I make the wrong choice with choosing her the help me with building a solid foundation for my physic to rest upon.

 Fortunate for me I had to good since to allow here to hang herself before i found someone else more qualified. Mira, from the city of Austin Texas. Told me, I was the common denominator. And without missing a breath suggested I should stop dating until I picked them better...Basically.

I told her to fuck off sat down in my chair because she was exactly the one who needed to be next to me while I learned how to properly navigate through the gifts we all receive in our journey through living.