"For we all have our own crosses we must bare. It does not always have to be done alone..."

In my lifetime I have had the opportunity to live through many challenges.  Some have been so extreme that I had to make decisions which where in direct conflict with my intergrity. The definition of intergrity is " Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code". I memorized this some twenty years ago after when I had the opportunity to redefine my core beliefs.  The catalyst behind paradigm shift was a failed attempt at suicide. After a male therapist pulled my pants down during a session sucked my cock, came on my pants and reminded me as he was zipping up his pants of next weeks meeting.

I was fortunate to find a therapist whom I could trust.  In time with a lot of work I was able to redefine who I was and what I wanted to become. Making my outside appearance more inline with my inside.  In life I find when I am not in a state of balance? That is to say. The person I see in the mirror is not the same person others see. Living becomes more of a chore than that of joy.

On the road as much as I tend to be there is no Para shoot for me. Before traveling to Europe I had caught the train from New York to DC. At the station I was asking directions. One man distracted me while his partner stole my computer bag. Credit cards, passport, all other identifications. This just days before scheduled flight to Europe. I might add this occurred at 8pm.

I could not check into my hotel the two people that I did know where unavailable. Even if family and friends sent me money that late. I could do nothing with it regarding getting a room to sleep in.  Having to seek help from someone I hardly knew is a dangerous thing. Especially for one in the adult entertainment industries. One can find themselves in a place not at all palatable to ones personal security.

Yet the lesson of humility comes into play once more as it has in the past and like to continue throughout my life. Ego taken out of play, I sought and received help. The next 5 days where difficult replacing passport. Getting additional help from family and friends I was able to continue my journey. Not without a price. But life is about balance working through the obstacles I gained a new perspective.

That was also a gift in the form of empathy.

Empathy is a curious emotion. One can not have it for another unless you share similar experiences. It is a beautiful gift we share with one another. When I see a human struggling as I have struggled in different times of my life. My heart goes to them and if I am able I will assist if by no other way than to wish them a good journey in their lives.

 For we all have our own crosses we must bare. It does not always have to be done alone. Being able to know when to seek assistance is growth for me. But also giving back that which was so freely given to me is a blessing.