Do I want to be right and win an argument or be heard?

I do not believe in being brutally honest. The message is always lost on the person who is on the receiving end of the conversation. If I want the person to understand how I was effected negatively by their behavior or an action taken by them? I will share in a non threatening tone. I refrain from blaming the person for what ever ills I might believe they played a part in and share how their actions effected me in a adverse way. So not to have them default to "fight or flight" survivor mode. Hearing nothing that is coming out of my mouth.

If after I have shared about how I was harmed by a behavior or action taken by them. And they chose not to make some type of compromise/agreement to prevent it from occurring again? I know to cut my losses stop investing any energy on a person who has little to no interest in how I feel.

Is it better to understand or be understood.

Andrew Adam Caldwell took the picture