Before I spill the beans so to speak, let me share this first. We all wear different hats depending upon who we are around and on the conditions at that particular time. For example my mother would never view or see me as anything more than her son and someone she has grown to respect. While People who work or have worked for me would I hope see me in a different light.
This hold true for the friends that I keep. I can not think of a time when I have asked invited such a wide range of friends to hangout with me at the same time. None ever knowing of the others existence. How safe and secure it would be for me to continue to live a life such as that.
Fear has been at the root of this from the very start. I who profess not to be motivated by it. Progress rather than perfection is the path that I am on. There are aspects of me that I have kept hidden from all of them. Never showing all of my cards to any. Yet this very attitude has kept me from having any meaningful relationship with all parties my mother included.
So guarded have I become that I no longer can see the forest for the trees. One person can never be the alpha and the omega for another. "It take a village"
I have invited such people whom I will call my friends a word that is not used lightly. I will wait for their answer and also suggest they read this entry before joining me so as to have an idea as what this experiment is about. I will be vulnerable in a way I have never been. Having faith, that life will continue to unfold as they should.
We are defined many times by our actions but also by the friends we keep. I am not ashamed of anyone whom I call friend. That is not the issue. This would be the first time that my friends have the opportunity if they so choose to connect the dots and see me in a different way.
Fear holds no sway in my house. This particular one will see the light of day and I will be free.
Buster Sly
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