Letter from Buster Sly, Porn Performer/Senior Writing Contributor more can be seen at THAXXXLIST.COM

Letter from Buster Sly, Porn Performer/Senior Writing Contributor

April 2, 2014

Question:

How do you go from being a prevention worker for AIDS to being a bareback performer? Do you think this may be seen as a little hypocritical?

Dear Inquisitor,

I write often about my life experiences; I do so candidly, sharing the peaks and valleys because they all play a part in shaping the man I am today and the man I will grow into. During all this time, my message has never changed: I have always advocated the concept of harm reduction. The safer sex model only works for a small percentage of people. That means using condoms every time including when having oral sex. I do not fall in that percentage of people who wear a condom every single time, but I also believe in always disclosing my HIV status to my partners because knowledge is power if we are going to protect each other and make informed choices.



So my question to you would be a simple one: do we throw the baby out with the bathwater? Let me give you an example of  this attitude; btw,  the street version of this is "fuck it". A person who has been practicing safe sex goes out and gets drunk. He then  picks up a partner, goes home and has unsafe sex. Shame and guilt come into play but who can he tell? Who should he tell? Should he even talk to someone about it at all? What about his partner that he was just with? For some this fear can be overwhelming. A person might just say "fuck it" and continue practicing his unsafe behavior as it is described by the safer sex model which is condom sex 100% of the time.



Fortunately, I don't prescribe to such a rigid way of  thinking. The "all or nothing" way has been less than successful over the years as the rate of new infections in the United States alone has remained steady at between 50-60,000 per year for almost a decade now. There is a better way,  a way that empowers the person by giving them informed choices.



The harm-reduction model allows for each individual to take an active role in defining  what "safer sex" is and also the  sharing of  the degrees of risks involved. The beauty of harm reduction is it's simplicity which undermines your equation of being unable to advocate ways to prevent HIV infection while also having condom-less sex. With harm reduction, shame for failing to stay in perfect adherence is no longer a barrier for someone being open and honest about their sexual behavior. Thus, healthy dialog can happen and flourish. When we talk more, we communicate more, understand more, and have more empathy for each other. That improves our mental as well as physical health.



You speak of hypocrisy. Never have I felt that way. I am one of harm reduction's biggest advocates. If we ask someone what safer sex looks like to them, we get a wide range of answers. The "condoms only" model can only address a few.  How compassionate is that?



Harm reduction is a viable alternative for those who have been left to fend for themselves while emphasizing communication and responsibility.

Together, let's be healthy.