I had been asked on a few occasions how is it possible for me to be single for so long (20 years)?

The subject regarding relationship was raised by my lesbian therapist some 20 years ago. She had stated during a session that "there was one thing my past (three relationships) had in common. I thought to myself, how much am I paying this woman. She clearly has not been  paying attention to anything I have been talking about these past few years. None of my partners look remotely alike.


Fortunately for me, I did not state what I was thinking. Another lesson learned earlier from this same person I lovingly called Myra "the bitch". You will understand why soon enough.


Myra continued by stating, I was the common denominator. I had invited these men into my life. My response to this statement was "fuck you bitch". She smiled knowing the only time I would ever make such a statement was when I saw the truth of it and had nowhere to go but to accept it.


There was always a solution masked as a suggestion. Knowing full well that there was no other option for me other than to take here advice and put it into action. Myra stated that I should stop dating until I understand what it is about me that is attracted to the same personality trait.


I am certain she did not mean for me to stop dating for such a long period of time. Yet over the years I became comfortable being alone becoming my own best friend. In the past 6 years since getting into the adult entertainment industry. My desire to meet someone has returned. The problem is sensory overload.


When I am approached on line or in the streets the amount of people that I meet forces me to withdraw. I spend more time alone now than I ever have in my life. Fear is at the root of it. I have been so out of practice that I no longer understand the rules of engagement.


Then there is the social media site. If you are trying to get my attention on a place like Facebook or twitter? It is likely to get lost in the sea of data. I have chatted with some amazing people online and even then I will lose track of them from the sheer  numbers of messages. Do you know how many Steve's, David's, Mike's there are?


I am single for now and open to the possibilities. With a true desire to meet a person that will share their life experiences with me. I need no other person than myself to be complete. This I learned from Myra, who lives in Austin Texas and that I have so much love and respect for. I do not think she knows how much of who I am today is based on the work many years ago in her office.


I wish to share my journey in this life with another. Complementing each other instead of being codependent and seeking someone to "complete me".


Wish me luck...


Buster Sly