"Innocent people plead guilty all the time."

 "Innocent people plead guilty all the time."

Those words came from the first of three attorneys who would be assigned to represent me at a court in Seattle, WA.

I was still getting my bearings--fresh off a plane after being detained in Austin, Texas, for three months without ever being told the charges. (But that's a story for another time.) So I listened as carefully as I could.

I learned a warrant had been issued because I failed to appear for a court date, a warrant that had been mailed to my home address while I was out of the country in Canada for six months. My attorney informed me that I would be allowed to post bail under personal reconnaissance. With the understanding that I would not be able to travel for work. I told her that my job required me to travel and asked for an explanation. My attorney explained that the judge took issue with being in the adult entertainment industry. Specifically the gay adult entertainment industry.

Usually when you have a job that requires you to travel the judge will make exceptions to allow you to continue generating income while you're waiting three months for your court date. My job had nothing to do with the charges brought before me. I told my attorney that I would continue to work knowing full well what the consequences would be upon my return. I went to Canada to work. As expected I was detained by customs at the airport in Seattle WA. When I had the opportunity to post bail the judge allowed me to do so under personal recognizance. But not without asking me if I understood why I was arrested by customs? I answered, “I had bills to pay and I had to work.” I had more work scheduled for me in Canada. I return to Seattle where the same sequence of events occurs. I stood before the judge he asked me “Why don't I just quit my job?” I answered, “Will you be paying my bills for the next three months?”. I was allowed to post bail under personal recognizance. Not surprisingly I found myself before the judge the third time for doing the same thing as the first two times. Before standing in the judge. My attorney had informed me that he would not be allowing me to post bail. The judge stated, “I don't believe you respect my authority?” I replied, “Respect is a gift given. I tolerate you because I have no other choice. You haven't given me a reason to respect you.

Handcuffed I was taken back to my cell. “As long as you're willing to suffer the consequences of your actions…” I heard these words some 30 years ago from a stranger sitting next to me on the plane. She was talking to me about her irresponsible son. I remember asking her if she knew my mother.

This is a good place to stop for now more tomorrow.

Doing the right thing for selfless acts or selfish reasons... works for me.

My planned trip to Houston this past weekend ended up being a bust. I have taken pride in not owning a vehicle for quite some time choosing to have less of an impact on the environment by doing so. Amtrak is one of my favorite mold of transportation sometimes I feel like I am the unofficial spokesperson for the company. unfortunately, I'm not on the East or West Coast so I have to resort to using Greyhound or Megabus. If you go to their website you would be led to believe they have taken steps in reducing the risk of being exposed to the coronavirus. This is far from the truth. 

Saturday morning was my 1st attempt to travel to Houston. Greyhound was my mode of transportation at least up until I notice a large number of people lined up to catch the same bus. A few were not wearing masks. I chose not to board the bus. The following day it was more of the same at a competing company called Megabus. Once more I chose to put my safety and consider the well-being of those I would be coming in contact in the near future first. This choice did not come without consequences in the form of lost revenue.

There are so many more who don't have the luxury to choose and are forced to ride the bus in conditions the CDC Strongly advises against.

For the individuals who lack the compassion to be Concerned about others. Choosy not to hold the companies accountable Have real-world consequences and everyone's daily life. Unless you live on an island by yourself. The chances of you running into someone who's been on a bus and leave him additions pretty high they shop at the grocery store their work in your homes We handle the food you Consume. Putting your health at risk.

My apologies for those that were affected by my choice and not visiting Houston. I will return in the very near future likely catching a ride with a good friend.



Thank you for your understanding Buster sly.....

Random acts of kindness. I don't think so.

I dislike the coined  phrase "practicing random acts of kindness"

Kindness is not something that I practice but how I live. It is never random.

Quality time

Enjoying the weather here in the mostly sunny city of San Diego. Always available for a one on one webcam talk clothing optional. Ask for details at BusterSly.contact.com

You must be of 18 years or older of course.

Balance is my Holy Grail...

BE DIRECT WITH YOUR INTENT.  I am grateful to anyone taking the time to write to me.  Balance is my holy grail. "Hi, or sup" speaks volumes. I am more likely to respond to a direct text message before "hi or sup". I try to be respectful of your time and ask that you afford me the same courtesy. If you haven't seen any of my work?  No worries, neither have I.  If interested use a search engine type "Buster Sly" to access free clips, interviews, and pictures as well as all my social media sites where my number is posted (the best way for your message to be seen in a timely fashion).

I continue to struggle with finding the proper balance with work (includes social media) and time away from the work. Isolation has been my go-to solution for the latter. A solution for me is to find the proper boundaries. Empathy is my undoing. It is a party for me and something that I cannot simply turn off. My struggle internally to reconcile with 2 conflicting aspects of my character.  The need to have relationships where I can be vulnerable nurturing the real part of me that believes it takes a village. While "I am an island" comforts the part of me which knows far too well what the dark side of being open to injury (vulnerable) has taken me. Being on the receiving end of a child molester and stalkers more than I care to count.

Perfect in my imperfection I remind myself. It is a journey of one. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Pictures were taken by Andrew Adam caldwel

I do not reward bad behavior.

I am currently a diamond member for Wyndham and platinum member for choice hotel lines I am extremely dissatisfied with them both. As a diamond and platinum member, one should receive certain benefits such as late checkout free upgrades when available. More than half of the times that I have stayed in the hotels I was denied upgrades. Even when plenty of rooms where available. Getting a late check out if offered is the exception, not the norm. When seeking assistance from the corporate offices or both companies. I would receive the standard answer. Throwing their collective hands in the air. Taking no ownership by hiding behind "The hotels' are a franchise or privately owned and there's nothing they can do". When I stay at a choice or Wyndham hotel I'm staying there because I have certain expectations based on that name And what they profess to offer in services and amenities. To say there's nothing we can do is horse manure. Their inaction gives the green light To these hotels to continue business as usual.  Rewarding bad behavior.  Like Congress with the president.

I have invested a lot of money With the expectation that Brand loyalty would be rewarded. Sadly this is not been the case Business as usual continues at Choice and Wyndham Hotels. The devil you know no longer works for me. I have tried to address this problem but it is falling on deaf ears. 

I'm on the road 9 months out of the year And before I invest In another hotel chain. This lesson is taught me To take the time, In the beginning, to make sure that I find A hotel chain Pat is consistent with the services offered and the benefit that come with being a loyal Customer.

I Should have jump ship a long time ago. But having invested so much money to become Platinum and diamond level members at Choice and Wyndham hotels. For a short time the benefits outweigh the cost now that is changed I no longer see any benefit And saying When I get absolutely none of the perks promised for being a loyal custom.

My money will no longer Be spent companies who only do lip service to promises made. For Wyndham and Choice Hotels the cost has yet to outweigh the benefits of continuing business as usual. I do not reward bad behavior.
I do not reward bad behavior.

Whites only...

On an average year, I'm on the road for 9 months. This affords me the opportunity to frequent the same city. As well as visit The same hotels. The phrase "If you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem." Comes to mind.  There are hotels that I had stayed in before That is so blatant with their profiling. With no concern of consequences for their actions. When calling the corporate office I get the same response every single time and that is to say that it is a franchise and the company is independently owned.

I said to them bullshit. As a platinum member and Dimond member or both Wyndham and Choice Hotels. There are certain perks that one Expects to receive For spending the amount of money it takes to make it to that level.  I have stayed in hotels where they have flatly told me that there are no rooms available for a free upgrade. Intern I've logged on booked the room that they claimed was not available and went back downstairs to inform them of their error. Refusal of the room Has me contacting customer service corporate office. Just to have them hide behind This is a franchise And is not owned by Wyndham Or Choice And there's nothing they can do save for me filing a grievance. And it ends there.

I have had a hotel tell me they did not accept my credit card. And never had they excepted the credit card at that location. This is after I contacted the booking agent who called that same hotel to inform them that I had stayed there 5 times in the past using the same credit card.

Portland, Hollywood, and San Francisco are the worst offenders. It must be noted that there's also a very large population of homelessness in these three cities. Which is a subject that needs to be addressed separately? When the corporate office does not hold the hotels accountable.  They are giving the green light To this practice of profiling to continue. I will begin documenting and posting on what I will call the wall of shame All hotels that I encounter which practices this behavior.

Less I become guilty of doing the same by not bringing this practice to light.

Come on now. Enough is enough!

Come on now. Enough is enough!

Why have politicians in recent years tried to convince us the government is "too big"? Agencies such as the Food and Drug Administration were one of the first to suffer a budget slashing, preventing them from adequately doing their job:, to protect "We the people".

Where do these "small government" politicians get their political donations from? Who stands to gain from defanging the watch-dogs that protect us from seedier businesses who care nothing for our welfare and shown us for years they have no intention on changing that behavior?

Of course, they knew we would not stand for the dismantling of the FDA outright--a crisis was needed, one of such magnitude that "We The People" would allow the slashing of funding to public social services that compete with businesses whose only concern is profit. They convinced too many of us to stand by and allow these cuts, even as we watched the price extracted from the general public health. And then they pointed at the failures as if they were in fact justifications of these cuts.

Instead of spending tax money for relief from disease or hardship or protecting us from poison, these politicians promised us" relief" from our tax burden. What we got instead was a redistribution of wealth--and not in our favor. This created a deficit that had to be addressed--but no one wanted to raise taxes. How relieved were we when a solution to the man-made crisis was found. Politicians told us the government was fat and needed trimming. They pointed to top-heavy agencies as the disease and presented slash government services as the cure. The FDA was only one of the first to fall. They deregulated the financial industry, removing key protections that had been put in place after The Great Depression of the 1930s. When this led us into the very real crisis of The Great Recession of 2009, another bailout and a continued assault on the American people to redistribute wealth in the form of the bailout--of taxpayer money. A solution paid for by others for a crisis of their own creation.

If this sounds familiar it's because they keep doing it over and over again. Japan's Fukushima power plant continues to poison our oceans, killing the fish we eat even as climate change threatens the life of all sea life. Deregulated industries now allowed to poison our air. Believing they can ride out the storm, these "leaders" believe they will simply govern the ones who are left standing, a cruel Darwinism by people who claim the Cross as their own.

There is a better way to govern. We must make it happen, We the People, while we still have the power. We've had enough of not getting enough.

The direct approach wins every time over "SUP".

The direct approach Is always preferable to "SUP". Rarely will I respond to that word. Time is a precious commodity I would rather not spend it on small talk.

For anyone who's shy please know that there's nothing, you can say to me That would offend me enough to be rude. When I was told to "Take my Coon ass back to Seattle Washington" while visiting San Francisco. I thanked him for taking the time out of his busy life to Send a message to someone he didn't even know. Flattered was I, for him to extend that type of energy On someone he professed not to like.

When I am on the receiving end of hate/venom. I find that it's best to respond, If I respond at all, with kindness. Leaving open the possibility in the future they might forgive my transgressions. Not for my sake but for their own. Holding on to hate Poisons the soul.

I am grateful for anyone who takes the time to send me a message. Balance is my Holy Grail. I will not spend hours on end Responding to messages.

Picture was taken by Andrew Adam Caldwell

How do you go that ‘extra mile' in your life? A question that was recently posed.

I have found it going the extra mile is not necessarily a good

thing. Balance In all aspects of my life is my Holy Grail. When I find myself too far out of balance. My serenity tends to be challenged much more often.

Compassion and empathy are not just words. They are part of who I am. I am kind to myself...And I extend my kindness to others' No matter who they are or their place of origin. This act cost me nothing. What I get in return Is immeasurable.

When life gives you a lemon...

It has been a challenging few months after my mothers passing...for the past 4 years I put my plans on the back burner. I could not commit any course of action that was outside my two-week bubble. A time I was comfortable with being away from my mother.

I set goals and went about meeting them with the aid of some talented friends. Now I am having to make myself accountable for my plans especially the ones the effect the people around me. Not resentful at all just unhappy to be revisiting this life lesson.

A solution based perspective is where I try to remain. What is the next right thing? Followed by taking action.

I never compare myself with other...

A few years ago I had to a web designer who asked me A simple question. It was Who is your competition? My answer to him was that I had no competition I don't compete with others. This window in for a day or two before I finally explained to him that I understood exactly where he was coming from.

In the entertainment industry, I have many peers If you I would consider to be mentors. Not a single one would I ever consider the competition. When I compare myself to others I find There are only two outcomes, ego or envy. Neither are good character traits. Never in my lifetime, have I met a person exactly like me. Equal in every way.

I choose to celebrate My friends and peers accomplishments. Especially when they have tried And failed. Far too many times I see people jumping on the bandwagon Criticizing someone When they may not have met an expectation/goal. Taking the risk of trying something new. Outside of your comfort zone is to be commended. Rarely, has it been the case for me to have the success the very first time trying anything? There are many challenges in life. I look at them all as opportunities to learn and grow.

Consider this the next time you might be quick to Jump on the bandwagon Criticizing another human being for failing. It takes courage to do something outside of your comfort zone. Becoming vulnerable Open to injury Yet still willing to try. It's something to be celebrated. Very few people take the road less traveled.

Paradigm Shifts

The best experiences I have had in my life have one thing in common.

Paradigm Shifts were the end results. I have had a few and hope to have more. This is what life is about. At least it is for me. Empowering was it for me to understand that I created the reality that I chose to live in. I alone was responsible for my happiness and what it looked like to me.



If there is something in my life that challenges my serenity? I can choose to take steps to address the problem or I can choose to do nothing and suffer the consequences. I try to live in a solution based perspective.

Lets play connect the dots...

Why is it that politicians are so bent out of shape to make education Out Of Reach for most Americans? We have to look no further than the state of Texas to find the answer.

It has been a red state for some time now. The exception being my hometown of Austin. Which has weathered the storm and remained a bright blue beacon in the state? What makes Austin different?  It has a higher percentage of people who have continued their education past the 12th grade.

Educated people have a tendency to question authority and not take what they hear as the gospel truth.

In recent days. The president and Congress made advances in putting continued education out of reach from most Americans. Giving tax breaks for the very rich while eliminating the write off provision f0r student loans. Who tends to benefit from this environment? Politicians backed by the corporations who have their own agenda. One where the American citizens are more pliable. They are creating a country populated by sheep.

The wolves are running the country. And I'm calling them out.

You put your chocolate in my peanut butter...

Or was it the other way around "you put your peanut butter in my chocolate"? 

I know I'm dating myself by paying homage to that classic Seventies commercial, one that always had me craving for Reese's peanut butter cups. But there is a method to my madness. It can be a wonderful tool for people of all race and ages. We can stay true to ourselves and be safe in the reality of our own making. Drawing comfort by surrounding yourself with like-minded people. Choosing to take the path less-traveled. Experiencing life outside a comfort zone. A thirst for knowledge and the wisdom gained from the exchange of ideas and life-lessons when traveling or playing host to someone different. All of this just to find out we have more in common with each other than not.

Thanks

What would you say is your greatest attributes?

What would you say are your greatest attributes?

Buster_Sly:

Active listening is a skill set few are taught. When I was a trainer for the customer service department of one of the big three car manufacturers in the USA. I would tell a story to 30 trainees and ask them to write down what they thought the story was about. I would usually get 10-15 different answers from a group of people who heard the same story at the same time. The only difference was that none shared the same life experiences.

Life experiences shape who we are today. What is important to one may not be to another. Properly executed, the listener is engaged in the conversation without the person sharing feeling as if they are talking to a wall and equally as damaging is when the person sharing gets annoyed from constantly being interrupted. In its absence the one listening risks losing the person trust because they feel the person in front of them were not listing, They did not care enough.

It also saves a lot of time when I everyone is on the same page.

What would you say are your greatest attributes? A question recently asked of me.

What would you say are your greatest attributes?

Buster_Sly:

Active listening is a skill set few are taught. When I was a trainer for the customer service department of one of the big three car manufacturers in the USA. I would tell a story to 30 trainees and ask them to write down what they thought the story was about. I would usually get 10-15 different answers from a group of people who heard the same story at the same time. The only difference was that none shared the same life experiences.

Life experiences shape who we are today. What is important to one may not be to another. Properly executed, the listener is engaged in the conversation without the person sharing feeling as if they are talking to a wall and equally as damaging is when the person sharing gets annoyed from constantly being interrupted. In its absence the one listening risks losing the person trust because they feel the person in front of them were not listing, They did not care enough.

It also saves a lot of time when I everyone is on the same page.

Top 10 life lessons I have learned to date.

1. Learning to pick my battles. Not every fight is worth fighting for especially when the person you are trying to share your experience/opinion with has a closed mind. Unwilling to hear alternative views.
2. It's about the journey, not the destination. I'm here on this planet to experience, learn and grow. There is a difference between ignorance and stupidity.
3. Knowledge is not to be hoarded but shared with any who would seek it. In a fellowship, I heard it phrased differently. "You can't keep what you have unless you give it away".
4. Balance is the Holy Grail. Rarely is this achieved in all aspects of my life, but it is a goal that I strive for on a daily basis.
5. Is it better to understand or be understood? You decide on your own which one is most important or if they both are equal in their importance.
6. Being present or at the moment. Another lesson of life where Improvement and not Perfection is the goal.
7. Growth comes from doing things outside of my comfort.
zone.
8. Failing should never be feared. It is a powerful tool used for learning.
9. Compassion empathy, understanding all love based emotions are the only tools I have found to break the cycle of hate and violence both derived from fear. It would be foolish of me to forget transgressions brought against me. The act of forgiveness is not for the other person. It is a gift I give to myself.
10. Happiness is an inside job. People places and things will never fill the void.

In no particular order are these placed and I continue to add much more as long as I stay open to the possibilities.

"I do the right thing" not because of a promise of a brighter future. I "do the right thing" because it is in my heart to do so.

Not too long ago a person born in the United States of median income could choose to live a life similar to their parents or take a different path by continuing their education and be who they wanted to be. That was the "American Dream". It was albeit brief period obtainable to most Americans born in the United States. The Federal Government went so far as to encourage this movement. Pell grants to offset the expenses for the families who could not shoulder the entire burden. Student loans at low-interest rates gave hope to many of a brighter future. All we had to do was work for it.

The United States that once offered a promise of a better life for most Americans has been circumvented by the top 5% of the wealthiest Americans and the politicians they control through campaign financing. Why else would a sitting President allow a grant used to assist students in need to end? When he chose not to sign when it came up for renewal. The ever-increasing cost of continued education. Soon to be unattainable save for the uber-rich Americans. Look not into the recent past to see the truth of it. In the here and now we have politicians who no longer bother hiding behind the guise of a public servant passed into law by way of the recent restructuring of taxation. The removal of a tax break for people who took advantage of a student loan with the hope of a brighter future. Do they want indentured servants upon completion of one's education? Or/and to discourage most from even trying.

If the politicians and those behind them think of us as sheep. "We The People" need to stop being compliant and take our heads out of the proverbial sand. There is a reason behind this attack. On more than one front are we under siege. I understand the fear and its paralyzing effect. When I was a child laying in my bed at night. I might have been inclined to stay perfectly still hoping against hope maybe he would not notice me and pick someone else. The truth I came to understand was even when I was not singled out? Still was I damaged by the sounds of another being victimized while I did nothing. I learned a valuable lesson early in my life new to this world. They never just go away. Not until I learned to turn the light on them. Dismissing the lies and half-truths. Are we to stand alone or together? The answer for me is simple. I stand.

It is not just our country that is suffering under this current regime/administration. What is being done across the globe in our name (United States of America) is shameful at best. I grow tired and will speak my truth more on this subject later.

I know full well what this country does to one who would be the bearer of bad news. Throughout history, it never ends well. Yet I am compelled to speak my truth no matter the consequences and the suffering that at times follows.

"We The People"

If "We The People" want to make this country great again? Let us revisit campaign reform. When we force politicians to raise obscene amounts of money just to be considered a contender. The politicians stop listening to us. They are beholden to the people who donated large sums of money to get them elected. "We The People" become passive passengers. If we ever were in the driver's seat. That time has surely gone. We are being attacked by the very people who profess to have our interest at heart. Our politician's actions speak volumes.

Continued Education is already out of reach for many Americans who simply want a better way of life. Soon only the elite uber-rich will be the only ones able to attend Universities.

Privatising prisons, what idiot thought that was a good idea. It is in the best interest of the shareholders to keep the prisons full. Adding insult to injury is the increased burden placed on the families who can least afford to pay artificially inflated items made available to the inmates. Which in turn fatten the pockets of the shareholders. Resources once used to put food on the table and clothe their children.

Defanging Federal Agencies whose sole purpose is to ensure that the products we consume are not harmful to us. Recent history tells us. Businesses will do the right thing in the absence of oversite. It, unfortunately, tends to be the right thing for them not "We The People"

There is a war going on here at home. It is one that has been in the making for some time now. Our privacy and freedom to go where we chose to remain under siege. Diminished in the name of Homeland Security. Do not be fooled by their slight of hand. Fear is the enemy it is the go to a tool used by the would-be elite continues to use. Remaking the landscape of the United States with systems in place to prevent any upward mobility for those who only want for their children to have a better life than them.

picture was taken by Andrew Adam Caldwell